The Fake Factor

It's that time of year again, homes across the UK snuggle up on a Saturday as the evening draws in, judging the latest generation of stage seekers, hard to believe that August is not yet over and the X Factor will be gracing us with it's presence until Christmas. With poor Cheryl struck down with malaria for many of the auditions, producers have thrown in ever more sparkly stars than before to fill her perfectly formed space.

Chin up chuck.

Talking of Cheryl, it hasn't been the best week for the nations favourite Geordie lass. The auto tune debacle of the first episode was met with defensive whimpers from little Louis, whose eyes are starting to look ever so slightly frightening. He insists that 'Every pop star in the world uses Auto-tuning.' Not wishing to go back on his words, when asked whether Ms Tweedy mimes he quipped 'you'll have to ask her.' Oh dear. To add insult to injury, when Cheryls mountain climbing chum Chris Moyles heard her Live Lounge rendition of hit 'Parachutes' he remarked that 'she might not need a parachute but she could bloody do with some singing lessons.' The icing on the cake was the re-ignition of long term feud with a certain Lily Allen who, on watching the first episode told the world ‘It’s s**t. FACT! It’s everything that I detest about modern western culture.' Glad to have cleared that one up.

Nobody's perfect...

So will this year be more of the same? Contestants with menial jobs, tough upbringings, and a long lost deceased relative whose last wish was for them to be famous. The freakshow set up that is often exploitative in its execution had its first victim in single mother Shirlena Johnson, who after performing her rather questionable take on Duffy's 'Mercy' aired to viewers in the first episode of the series, was deemed too mentally unstable to find her way to 'boot camp,' despite having had her paperwork and performance approved through preliminary auditions. Big Brother was put out of its misery this year, will the time come for the X Factor format to be extinguished like it's predecessors? One thing is for sure, the stars of tomorrow shouldn't need to be enhanced to sound like robots, and Louis's belief that 'Jedward' may have won last year if given the same auto-tune privilege only backs this up.